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Type.  Delete.  Type, type.  Delete.  Hmmmmm.

Type.  Delete.  Type, type, type.  Delete.

I have sat down so many times to write this post.  I have written and rewritten.

It’s no secret that I am a perfectionist.  When I go after something, I go hard.  I give it my all.

And I’m tired.

I can’t keep up, no matter how I try.

So many things I need to do, so many things undone.

This life that I lead, I love it.  I want it.  It’s a beautiful life.

But I’m tired.

And I have no idea how to get order back.

But I’ll keep trying, keep going, work harder.

To give myself grace.  And the permission to not be perfect.  And I’ll take a break from blogging (or I should say, the pressure of blogging — I love, big love blogging).

Until I find the balance that has been off-kilter for what seems like so long.

I am a child of God.

I am a wife.

I am a Mommy.

I am an artist.

But I am struggling with being all of these things at the same time.

The weight of the silence here is heavy on my shoulders.  So I needed to be vulnerable.  And honest.  And explain the reason for my silence. And let you know that I’m still here, just quiet.

For now.

xoxoxoxo

Christi

P.S. I’m still working, still booking clients and expecting for 2012 to be a fabulous year.  Fully expecting, might I add.<——- edited to add, no way, no way I am NOT pregnant.  If I gave anyone palpitations, my apologies.  I just meant I am fully expecting a fabulous year

The presents are wrapped.

The cookies and milk are out for Santa.

The carrots and celery are on the front porch (the reindeer are hungry too, says Lily).

All 3 babies are sleeping, and I’m heading to the couch for some Christmas Eve snuggling up.  Sounds mighty nice, doesn’t it?  I even have my new cozy Christmas socks on (thanks Dad and Betsy!).

Wishing everyone a blessed holiday season, see you in 2012!

xoxo

Christi

My favorite Christmas tradition for the past 5 years? Awaited. 14 shows run from December 16th-24th. I wish I could see it all 14 times.

Awaited is a contemporary retelling of the traditional nativity story. I think they’ve given away 48,000 tickets this year (tickets are free). I’m telling you, people. It’s that fabulous. Think ten-piece band. 100-person adult choir. Super adorable children’s choir. Amazing dance performances. Stars on the ceiling. Snow falling. Dancers moving throughout the auditorium. It’s crazy good.

Oh, and you can grab a bunch of stuff for free. Mmmm hmmmmm. No money, people. Not a penny.

F to the R to the E-E:
hot chocolate.
coffee.
christmas cookies and goodies.
christmas music CDs (take 1 or take 10).
a family photo (yup, free. We got one taken last night).

The doors open an hour before the show starts, so head over early, and get yourself some Christmas fun.

You can get tickets here. If there aren’t tickets left for the date you want, you can just show up. They’ll find you a ticket, easy peasy.

——->email subscribers: click on the blog post title, and you’ll be taken to the blog. There you will see the videos.

My favorite part is at the end. I must show you this very minute (I obsess over it – really, I do. I cry every year. In fact, I got all welled up probably 5 times last week, just thinking about this part. True story):

For the kids:

Lily is sitting here on my lap, as I’m typing. She keeps asking to watch the “ballet” part.

Anyone want to go with me this week? I would love to go again, y’all. Message me, m’kay?

xo
Christi

P.S. Yes, I’ve been MIA. I realize that I’m a big blogging slacker. Taking care of my babies comes first, and I’m having some trouble juggling everything. I’ll admit it. A lot of trouble. I need an assistant. Or maybe 10 more hours in each day. I’m not sure what 2012 brings for me at this point. Stay tuned, friends.

2 things I would like to say:

1) Why is it that I always, ALWAYS wait until the last minute to pack for a trip.  T minus 4 hours until we leave this sleepy little town and head for San Diego.  And I haven’t packed yet.  Someone come save me from myself.  I annoy myself to no end when I do this.

2) All 3 of my babies are paci-babies.  They love(d) their pacis.  Pacis were their BFFs.  We would call out “paci, paci, paaaaaaaaci!” in the house when they were lost.  2 year old little diaper bottoms, hunting for their pacis.  Paaaaaaaci!  I can still hear Mac yelling for his.  But if someone would have told me that I could have had this?

I would have never given a paci to any of them.

Oh my.

He makes me melt right into a puddle.

xoxo

Christi

We hunted for acorns.

We searched for “special” “secret” red leaves.

We played hide and seek.

We did cartwheels (well, she did. I cheered her on).

We played Simon says.

We sang Twinkle Twinkle Little Star in our loudest voices.

We counted to 15 in Spanish.

We played eeny meeny miny moe to find the perfect dress to wear (there were at least 15 that we eeny meenied all the way down to the ONE).

We lined up animals and yelled out “MATCH!” when we found a matching pair.

We did much that day.  And I loved every minute.  Ella, love.  You’re such a little gem.  And I love every little thing that makes up little you.

xo

Christi